Dark Ride

All I can say is I just wasted 90 minutes of my life. This movie is terrible. I'm hoping to spare you the same pain I endured.

The plot is very basic and juvenile. Some oversexed college kids decide to spend the night in a dark ride. Dark ride is defined by Wikipedia as "an indoor amusement ride where riders in guided vehicles travel through specially lit scenes that typically contain animation, sounds, music, and other special effects" The so-called Dark Ride in this film was a horror themed ride, depicting devils, murder, and other horrific scenes. The movie begins with in 1989 with twins being murdered in the dark ride and the murderer being sent to an insane asylum. The story then moves to the college kids going on a road trip. The characters are cliche and not deserving of any sympathy. Just die already and let me reclaim my life. The characters aren't even aware that they are in a horror movie until an hour into the movie. Real effective. Lame story, lame characters, just lame.

Even the special effects in this movie are lame. The blood is too red; it looks fakey. The killer in this movie just looks like a big retard bumbling around and lurking in the shadows. He has super human strength and runs around in a straight jacket. I saw the the twist at the end coming from a million miles away. This movie is the cinematic equivalent of a 5 year old child with downs syndrome. No offense intended.

Is there anything redeeming about this movie? After thinking hard and long about this, the answer is no. The only thing worse than this movie is the fact that I spent even more time on it by writing this review.

Don't rent or buy this movie. It is only promoting trashy low-budget "horror" films. Go watch paint drying instead -- it is ultimately less painful than this movie.

One of five stars. Go to hell.